Sunday, February 7, 2010

Don't mess with Musto

As always, everyone's all dressed up, Michael Musto is making me laugh and Amanda is busy posing....just a regular ole night in clubland! The pic is from a great NY Times article about NYC's original gossip writer Michael Musto. I've been hooked on La Dolce Musto, his Village Voice column since I moved here. He not only dishes out the dirt, but also presents the ordinary details of nightlife that when told by Michael are not so ordinary at all! With his deadpan wit that can cut like a knife, he regales us with his insight into the pop culture quirkiness of this city. I consider Michael a friend, a club friend, but a friend nontheless. We both work in nightlife but I drink vodka sodas and Michael drinks diet coke...This is problematic. Almost nothing is off the record with Michael.
Here's a few of my favourite things Musto said about me in his column.

August 1st, 2006
"In clubland, it's been one long journey, man, all heading toward the girl with the hairy armpits at Happy Valley. "
THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME MICHAEL WROTE ABOUT ME. I HAD ONLY LIVED HERE A FEW MONTHS AND HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME YET...OH BUT HE WAS SOON TO FIND OUT!

January 9th, 2007
"New Year's Eve gets the award for the second-biggest amateur holiday after Halloween, so it was fun to spend it with the pros at the Hiro Ballroom's Cuckoo Club. There were go-go dancers with cock socks to protect them from poking my eyes out, a weird baldy who always zooms in on the only biological woman in the room and rubs against her behind, and LADYFAG—a newish-on-the-scene Canadian cross between Frida Kahlo and Big Bird—who sparkled and high-kicked but mercifully didn't molt all over the dancefloor."
HE MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A ROCKETTE...HE WILL ALWAYS BE A BROADWAY SHOWTUNE KIND OF FAGGOT. THAT'S OKAY A PART OF ME IS TOO!

April 2nd, 2007
At Kino 41, Thursdays at Arena, a guy dressed as an s&m rabbi danced with his boyfriend—a German porn star with his butt exposed—with female drag queen LADYFAG in the middle, getting some faux-munching action on her rare night off from the Cock.
WHAT MICHAEL DIDN'T REALISE AT THE TIME WAS THAT THERE WAS NOTHING "FAUX" ABOUT THE MUNCHING!

October 24th, 2007 12:04 AM
"the tireless gay male in a woman's body, Ladyfag, taunted me with her pussy, then said, "You wouldn't know what to do with it!" Oh, yeah? Well . . . you're right! At the evening's peak, one reveler ran for his life, shrieking, "This party wasn't for me. I guess I'm not pretty enough or something." Someone with actual values? Get the hell out, mister, and stay out!"
HERE'S PROOF WHY ME, MICHAEL AND VODKA ARE A DANGEROUS MIX.

December 15th 2009
"And the human sparkplug known as Ladyfag won Future Face of Nightlife, telling the crowd that all the drink tickets she gives to gay guys don't always direct them to her nibbly bits.By the way, I hope this award boosts the Lady's desperate attempt to organize a fundraiser to help her buy an $8,000 pair of shoes she wants. Nothing's more important than the right footwear!"
DID HE REALLY JUST CALL THEM MY NIBBLY BITS?!!! WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT, IT'S NO WONDER I DRINK...

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