Monday, March 8, 2010

Oscars

The Oscars were a big bore. from the dresses to the dance number I wasn't so entertained. Luckily I was at a lovely Oscar party where upon seeing Colin Farrell, Jana the hostess exclaimed she had his infamous sex tape. We took a break from boresville to watch it, and then Jana served fresh waffles with homemade raspberry puree and hemp ice cream. In the words of the feral Farrell, "I could eat this for breakfast lunch and fucking dinner"There's was nothing noteworthy in the looks department. Sarah Jessica Parker wore an awful Chanel potato sack and deperatly needed someone to douse her hair with anti frizz serum. Charlize theron had ridiculous roses on her tits that made them look like target practice. I actually liked J. Lo for once in her Armani and I thought Diane Kruger while safe looked amazing in Chanel. It's the Oscar's time for some real glamour peple!!! Luckily Zoe Saldana's gave us a little taste in her Givenchy couture.
Here's a vintage LALALA that I wrote before last years Oscar's.
Ladyfag's LALALA's #34
Bring on the swans....It's Oscar time!! I can only hope that someone will bless us like Bjork did with an egg laying ensemble...In a rare Oscar year for me, I can actually say I've seen a few of the nominated films.... Apparently that's more than I can say for the judges! A few years ago I was disheartened to learn that the judges do not actually have to see all the films. The Oscars are an institution, and as with most institutions in this fine country they are above scrutiny....thus they've left me with no choice but to discuss what is never above scrutiny...Red Carpet Looks....Before there was Bjork ...there was Cher...Obviously I can't help but love the women who take fashion risks....That doesn't mean I have to like their looks....Cher's feathered mohawk headpiece is still making me wince, but I'm glad she wore it. There is an art to creating a fashion moment so that you don't come across looking more desperate for attention than a Twink's wiggling ass...Gweynth's awful black see-through Oscar look was just that...see-through...whereas Streisand's slightly see-through Scaasi pantsuit caused a scandal which was as chic as chic could be....The Amex dress was a too much of a gimmick to be called fashionable but I'd rather wear that then Paltrow's pale pink bore. Beautiful needn't be boring, I would trade trade in half of my lovers for the chance to wear Marion Cotillard's Gaultier mermaid dress and I'd trade in at least last weeks lover for Michelle Williams stunning yellow Wang gown. Those dresses were an embodiment of Ladylikeness and if I kept my mouth shut and wore one of them I might actually be mistaken for one...who are we kidding monsieur I am a croquemadame and I've get the eggs to prove it...Bring on the swans!!!
Besos Y Brujas,
Ladyfag

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