Sunday, January 31, 2010

Whore

I could post the video for Beyonce's new fragrance but really what's the point? It's probably on every fucking blog in the world and the part where she thinks she's Cindy Crawford in "Freedom's" bathtub makes me want to queef. Although because of it I was reminded to re-watch the George Michael video and was happily transported back to my supermodel obsessing youth. What I will post is a vintage RuPaul video she did from back in the day for her own perfume....WHORE....for she who is!... Now that's my kind of scent.

Dynasty

I've always been a fan of Alexis Bittar's jewelry, and as a bangle collector I remember sighing when I saw a picture of his studio complete with rows of candy coloured lucite bangles on spools. When walking in Gramercy this morning I gagged to see huge posters of Joan Collins for the new Bittar campaigns. Alexis Carrington meets Alexis Bittar. Fucking brilliant! Dynasty's 80's bejeweled opulence has returned.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Babafication

The heavy influx of street style photo blogging has caused the outside of fashion shows to become runways of their own. While Bill Cunningham will always be the pioneer of real NY street fashion, the sartorialist and Jak and Jil blog also fuel my procrastination. It also helps me keep in touch with what my friend Catherine Baba is up to, since the woman is the embodiment of chicness and constantly photographed. My faves are the ones of her riding her bike around Paris cause the only thing chicer than a well dressed woman is a well dressed woman riding an old fashioned bicycle! I wrote a little article about her for Paper Mag when I was hanging out with her last year. When I saw her sometime later she mentioned she had read it and said "Jaaaaa'dore! Darling, you made me fall in love with me!" Now it's your turn....CLICK HERE and behold The Baba!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Blasphemy


Kelis how could you?!!! I can forgive club kids for some bad looks, but you are wearing the McQueen shoes of my fucking dreams!!!!.... Blasphemy. While I'm guilty of burning your CD instead of buying it, I thanked you every time I grinded on the dancefloor to Milkshake. I actually think you're really sweet and I know you've had a bad year with that divorce an all, but I'm sorry I just can let this slide....Are you fucking kidding!?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Couture


"The details are not the details, they make the product" Charles Eames.
That's one of my favourite quotes ever and I use it as a personal mantra. Product is not always something that you buy. It can apply to every medium and stands for much that I do and something I truly value. I am much more than the sum of my parts but all the little parts, from the ribbon I tie in my hair, to the little sparkles I apply to my eyes, to the way I place the pillows on my bed and the way I arrange food on my plate is what makes me me. I'm a details kind of girl. It's couture week... and it's all about the details. Style.com (where I lifted these images from) and a few other "authorites" on fashion gave Gaultier a hohum review. So I'm only posting Gaultier pics because I wholeheartdly disagree and want to celebrate the collection. I loved every over the top look, especially since this collection with all it's braid filled, excessively jewelled glory, and Mexican meets Avatar influence is right up my callejón! Couture is about the craftmanship of how it's made, and so while it does not have to be over the top (Valentino's modern re-invention of itself is wearable, I love it and me and Macky just spent an hour dissecting it together on the phone but it's not L3LF blog worthy to post.) I like my couture to be fantasy and it is fantasy regardless because every piece is made like a little piece of art that most of the world could never afford. Gaultier was the first couture show I ever saw and I remember being in near tears of awe, I felt the same way even while sadly having to see it through a computer.

The last look reminds me of the lady in the painting hanging on my wall at home.I don't need a monogrammed bag or a T-shirt emblazonned with some rich designers name across it. Couture is an artform and is what I love about fashion. If you feel like procrastinating anymore the Givenchy show was another winner in my books. Don't bother with Chanel, while yes I am a Chanel fan and I can appreciate the beautiful couture craftmanship. The embellishments, the beading, the fabrics and the classic well tailored cuts, let's be honest....it's fucking boring granny wear with a twist. No thanks! I also don't like dictaors. I appreciate Lagrfeld's all white and silver collection. But when he proclaimed gold is out. I not only had to disagree, but I had to laugh and I decided to go out that night wearing, what else?... gold! I even shimmered my entire face in golden dust...even "my beat" followed it's own drum!Yeah I know it's black and white but trust me it shined like a golden Oscar statue!

Testimonial

Thanks for all the encouraging messages. Glad people are enjoying the blog. Just got this message sent to me and thought it was the best and most hilarious one to date!

"I just wanted to let you know that your blog keeps me fully entertained each night while Im waiting for my Xanax to kick in...
I love your LaLaLa's"

Now that's a testimonial!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Mad Hatter

Menswear bores me. I've been following mens fashion week in Milan but it really doesn't turn my crank and I'm even happier it's over cause that means it's Couture time in Paris! There are always a few things that make me do a double take and this season it was Belgian designer Walter Van Beirendonck. Part of the Antwerp 6, he is not only designs but teaches fashion at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Antwerp. If you sense something Bernard Wilhelm about him, it's actually the other way around, he was Wilhelm's teacher....There's more to Belgians then endives. Cuntasia.
He threw in some women's wear...Can't argue with those hats!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Midnight train to Georgia

Georgia the state, has sweet peaches. Georgia the country, has blood red pomegranates and beautiful traditional costume to match the deep colour of the fruit. Lucky for that little boy he has a video camera on to record evidence. Otherwise I might mug him in a back alley for his outfit. They also have a newspaper article written about NYC nightlife with a little featurette on me and my parties. Maybe I should do a party in Georgia?....they can just pay me in costumes!
Thanks to Gio Cipriani for the newspaper pic!

Monday, January 25, 2010

What did you just call me?!

"How many faggots you have in your pussy?" Excuse me?!!! ummm there's nothing in my pussy right now, thanks for asking. That was the first thing Jun Nakayama asked me when I met her, and I couldn't help but think something was lost in translation. She then proceeded to tell me that since she moved to America she's had 5 faggots in her pussy. Jun is as they say" Big in Japan". No really she is. NYC club kid, Heatherette muse, a total sweetheart, and proud self proclaimed faghag. I love that she embraces it, it works for her, and for better or for worse she truly is the epitome of a faghag. Yes, Sadly, she falls in love with gay men hoping they do the same with her. Me and Jun do not have that in common. I live in a world full of fags but I don't sleep with them (well, rarely...) and have no desire too. I leave that honour to the faghags. (oh and don't be calling me bisexual eitherCLICK HERE if you haven't heard my LALALA about that one yet!) I too often hear propositions that begin with "I'm gay, but...." So after a full eye roll no matter what time of the month, I usually pull a tampon out of my purse, ask them for help and then watch them run!

Here's Jackie Beat's hilarious video message to clueless straight girls.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Who wore it best?

Ladyfag serving you Margaret Hamilton realness.

God save the Queens

A friend of mine Bad Brilliance and I just got into it on Twitter about good drag queen names and I was reminded of this vintage LALALA I wrote last year. Thanks to all the drag queens who put real women to shame one tube of eyelash glue at a time.
Ladyfag's Little LALALA'S #41

I used to be a Drag Queen.... A female to female impersonator if you will....A woman who dresses like a man who dresses like a woman. The story begins when I had a big ole crush on rock and roll bathing suit wearing drag queen Tawny Le Sabre. She was the infamously potty mouthed hostess of famed Canadian parties Vazaleen. She took me under her conflamad wing and taught me all a woman should never know. On the very day I was first set to hit the stage with her, I still didn't have a name but had found an amazing treasure in the garbage. It was one of those eighties glamour mirrors that swivel, magnify and have lights that illuminate and make you feel like a star. On the bottom was one word.....Vanité..... I had found my name. Or more aptly, my name had found me while staring into it and applying ten pounds of foundation trying to make it seem like maybe there really is a five a clock shadow below. About to go on stage and nervous to be heckled a "faux queen" I realized I didn't have a last name and sounded more like an 80's girl band. So Tawny looked at me sternly and as though it was as obvious as every top needing a bottom she said... VANITAYYY... VANITAAAYY! and so Vanité Vanité was born. We had many a legendary moment involving our own securitay securitay and our Canadian tribute called Eskimay Eskimay complete with moccasins with their soles cut out to fit our stilettos.
I met a kindred spirited female drag queen from England named HoleStar who calls herself the "Tranny with a Fanny" She puts on a ballsy show even without said genatalia. Although FRAYDA COX is much more apropos name for that Ms. CONNIE LINGUS! At least neither of us had to get on stage and worry like WILMA BALLSDROP. Unlike your god given name you finally get to decide who you want to be in life. Do you want to be someone like EILEEN DOVER? or are you more of a top like PENNY TRATION. Some times the question is better answered by a Queen like WILMA FINGERFIT? Who is obviously in cahoots with KAYE WYE. Since we've already got the jelly out I might as well mention Ms. IONA SEXTOY, but IDA CLAIRE who doesn't own at least one?
Drag Queens are an international phenomena. Japan's got CONNIE CHIWA and Mexico's got SOLAMENTE ENLACAMA and there's BESSIE MAE MUCHO who I can only assume is a chola living in New Orleans. But New York is home to some of the best and we should be proud of Ms. ROBYN BANKS and her sister CARLOTTA STOLENGOODS...now that's some Bronx realness but I'm not trying to bring up RACHEL TENSIONS.
Don't let the charitable MARSHA DIMES fool you. Let's be honest, Drag Queens are usually DEVOIDA TASTE. Ms. DINAH CANCER and LATRINA BIDET are proof of that. Not to mention the unpolitically correct KITTY PORN and SHARON NEEDLES.
I loved being a drag queen. I got to get up on stage and unleash the cuntiest wrath on whoever is brave enough to sit in the front row of a drag show. I thank all the queens who helped shape me, much of what I learned about being a woman I learned from a man. Now I'm just happy being myself....No TESS TOSTERONE here...I'm just a lady...LADYFAG!

Besos Y Brujas,
Ladyfag

Friday, January 22, 2010

Choke on your vice

Eye popping jewelry for pill poppers....Now you can wear your vice around your neck in lieu of that noose that is your addiction. Cast of Vices sterling pill pendants are available at OAK and vary in price around the $200 range.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The elephant and the ant

The other night I was with talking with one of my dear friends and fellow creatures of the night when she complained that her new boyfriend's architecture was of an insane magnitude and she just can't make it fit. He explained that he knows pussy's that weren't actually born as such need a little extra help and offered advice that I can't really print on here lest this blog be mistaken for P-la(d)y-boy, but let's just say there's numbing cream involved and leave it at that. My favourite part of the story is that he then looked at her tenderly and said "Don't worry....with a little patience even an elephant can fuck an ant" I'm speechless.

Judith Leiber crystal embedded Ganesh clutch. Stick your dollars in a deity. $5,595 at net-a-porter.

The picture of the pretty painted ants is from a NY Times story about doing research on individual insects in colonies.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Are you fucking kidding?

It's not that I don't love Balmain, I do. But when Madonna wore that Balmain dress in her Celebration video I felt dissapointed. It's not that I don't like the dress, I do. Wear it to an event, but I'm sorry If you want the title Queen of Pop I expect more of your videos. When I saw Celebration I had already seen it worn many times and thought, oh there's that Balmain dress again! In layman terms it's sort of like when you shop at H&M. It's not that I don't shop at H&M, I do. It's fine to wear it, but you try not to buy their most recognized staple to wear to the prom where 5 other girls will be wearing the same fucking dress. There is a reason there is what has been called Balmania. It's only now that I am really beginning to roll my eyes. Their new crocodile jacket, that is in fact not even crocodile. It's not that I don't love it, I do. But it costs $73935.00....read that # carefully. You can buy a Range Rover and go on safari and look at real crocodiles for the same price ....Are you fucking kidding?! Jacket available at Luisaviaroma.

Cuntasia

Yesterday was Dolly Parton's birthday. I was lucky enough to see her twice in concert where I learnt that not only are her 40-20-36 measurements not an act of photoshop, (and clearly not an act of God) but more importantly that the woman can play almost every instrument... including her nails. Yes that sound you hear in 9to5 is her clicking away on her acrylic talons. These shoes designed by Iris Scieferstein would be perfect if she was doing a country gangster duet with Little Kim. Maybe they can rename it "Serving 9to5" !

Thanx Michael Magnan and Frankie Sharp for the shoe tip!

Shake it like a Polaroid picture.

I always read bloggers apologizing for neglecting to write for a few days and was making an effort to not join their ranks, BUT... well sorry for not writing for a few days.... Went to Washington DCfor Jeremy Kost's art show at Conner Contemporary gallery. Got home just in time to get dressed and go right to a party, then another party, sleep, unpacked, party, sleep, got dressed again, party, sleep, party....you get the picture. Anyways I'm back and also wrote a little blog about the show for PaperMag which you can read if you CLICK HERE Meanwhile here's a few polaroids Jeremy has taken of me over time. There were so many good ones at the gallery that I wanted to steal off the wall and show ya but he rarely gives any of them up!Vandam at GreenhouseVienna Life Ball red carpet that was actually blue.Dsquared2 fashion week party This is one of my faves so we used it as an invite for a party we did together. With Jeremy backstage in Vienna, filing my nails with the warmest butterflies in my belly.