Saturday, June 26, 2010

Season of love

When you went to school, your teachers lied to you. They told you there was only four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. They neglected to tell you about Resort. This year the Resort collections grew in numbers and it's becoming one of the most fabulous of seasons. Givenchy really turned me out with their beautiful Frida inspired take. Which brings me to Celine, who unknowing to them, reminded me of Frida. While the collection as a whole is not really my thing, I loved their two piece cotton pantsuits, and it reminded me of an amazing picture of Frida wearing a Mao suit. Celine named the look "utility-chic". That would've made Chairman Mao quite proud, and for the same price I could go to China myself to see him and buy it in the market..Even the simplest of looks...God that woman knows how to wear clothes!! Back to resort, the real standout this season was Lanvin. Here's some of my favourites and I would wear any and all of the shoes! Alber Elbaz not only has a beautiful vision, but he himself is always sweetly humble as he humoursly explained how women need options, showing how many of the outfits can be worn upside down and inside out. Remember in school when they made you put your coat on the ground and stick your arms in it and flip it on so you'd be wearing the right way? They lied to you again.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


While plus size modelling is the new "big" thing on the lips of the fashion world, let's be honest, thin will always be in, in the fashion world. Karl Lagerfeld, the most infamous fat hater even used full figured model Crystal Renn to walk Chanel's current resort show..But hey even McDonald's is chicer in France... This sweet commercial of a gay boy still trying to come out to his dad will not be run in the US because McDonalds claims the US has different "cultural norms". So while Mcdonald feels gay is ok in France, all they've left us is the great cultural norm of an obesity problem. Like I said, good thing that modelling has gone the way of Mc's fries...super sized. Well that just upped the ante and gave us the gayest McDonalds commercial ever made....for which there is no cuuuure!

Halston and the City

I might be one of the only ones who hasn't seen the new Sex in the City. Somehow I'm just over it, maybe it's cause I'm mad that Ms. Parker is getting involved with Halston which just seems blasphemous to me. Anyways here's a vintage LaLaLa on the little bit of Carrie in this Lady!Ladyfag's Little LALALA'S # 52
Being in nightlife has the advantage of not having to wait in line to do lines in the bathroom. I do however have to wait when my promiscuous peers are having sex in the stalls....I of course am above such lewdness...cough cough! Welcome to my life better known as "Sex... in the Shitty". Many a New York dwelling dame would like to fancy herself a character on "Sex in the City" and as I sit here once again like Ms. Bradshaw typing away on my macbook I can't help but consider the comparison. I am a single, nearing middle age woman living in New York City, I write a weekly column, I sometimes starve to have the perfect dress, and shoes are my strongest weakness. My mother attributes my fondness for horses to the fact that my face is as long as one and I find myself giving "My Little Parker Pony" to whom some think I resemble, a run for her money. Coincedentaly her
fake name is very similar to my real one....but the parallel ends there. I spent many enjoyable years watching Carrie and her posse of gal pals busily trying to find the perfect man, having sex along the way, and then sitting in fancy restaurants discussing it all over cosmos. I on the other hand spend my time having perfectly good sex in bathrooms, hopefully some of them are men along the way, and then leaving them to go with my girlfriends who happen to have dicks, and drink anything but cosmos....HBO isn't exactly banging down my door. It's fairly safe to say that most of my friends while being born as men have had a moment gazing in the mirror and picturing themselves as women. It's also more than safe to say that they would picture themselves as Samantha Jones. While half of the world shook their head in disgust, and the other half raise their pseudo Steinem flags in the air. My world consists of gaggles of Catrell's living out her role in real life. When sitting in the meat packing over brunch cocktails and lamenting the areas loss of drag queens to Alexander Mcqueen, I blurted out "No smoking in bars?....what's next, no fucking in bars!?"...oh wait, that was Samantha, not me... the line between tv and reality just got smaller than the line in my opening line about lines. The four of them stuck together as outsiders in a world full of NY women all getting married and starting families. I felt their embaressment and sympathized with their discomfort as they sat through wedding announcements and baby showers. Through their tears and laughter, it warmed me as they found strength in each other and embraced not being their mother's ideal of what a women should be....
I am different still. While I could try and search for the similarities between Charlotte and Miranda in my friends Drew and
Macky. In reality I only have a few girls with whom to discuss bikini line practices with. Carrie has her upper East Side brownstone, and I'm quite content with my converted mortuary loft space in Brooklyn. Her Westwood wedding gown can only be worn once, while my Westwood boots will sashay me through daily life. She has her "Mr. Big", and I have my mr. big dildo. But the truth is at the very core of this big apple and the women who live in it, there is something fundamentally that is the same. Like them I live lustfully while searching for love in between searching for labels on sale racks. Sitcoms, like life, only have so many episodes. So don't get it mistaken, I too am looking for the right one, it's just that in the meantime I might as well have the right now... aren't we all just longing for some sort of "Happy Ending".

Besos Y Brujas,

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The future is now

Last year I wanted those towering heel less Nina Ricci's so bad that I think I caused my YSL's to morph into them. I was actually in the middle of a party and still managed to host it and go dancing later on one foot. I sometimes joke that I'm a living party on heels. That night I proved it in the singular. The kind folks at YSL sent me a new pair, and luckily I still haven't destroyed them on the dancefloor!While my feet still long for those Ricci's, you can find a good substitute from Berlin's Kronier Creations. They also do lots of cyborg futuristic fetish wear that reminds me of the 90's. I'd be happy if it all stayed in the 90's except for the shoes which are beyond cuntasia! I'd happily welcome them delivered to my home right now!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

It's rarely a fine line between tacky gauche and classic chic. A quilted bag with the double C. CLASSIC. A T-shirt with the word Gucci emblazoned across the front. TACKY. Luggage monogrammed with LV. CHIC. Dolce and Gabbana in oversized diamantes lining the side of your sunglasses. GAUCHE... Pretty simple. So what to make of these contacts with gold flakes and a Christian Dior CD in the corner of your eye?....I just can't see which side of the fence they sit on...guess they left me blind.

Monday, June 21, 2010

polka dotted princesses

I'm a big fan of Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama. She claims alot of her work with obsessive patterns, protruding phalluses, and polka dots (which she calls infinity nets) actually come from the hallucinations that she suffers. She's been voluntarily living in a mental institution for many years but has a studio near by where she still creates an abudance of work. A painter, sculptor, performance artist, poet, creator of happenings, and a feminist....have you ever pressed on your closed eyelids, and in the darkness you see flashes of glowing lights?... I like to imagine that's what it's like in her polka dotted mind.This is a video I found on the internet of her installation "Firefly's On The Water" It's one of those you had to be there to experience it things, so while it doesn't do justice it sort of gives you a glimpse. A few years back I was lucky enough to see it at the Whitney Biennial. In the midst of the chaos of the biennial, you got to go in alone to experience the magic in solitude. I remember feeling tremendous inner peace and not wanting to leave. The distraught and tortured Kusama, she had found a way to express the perfect infinity...if only she knew how to make it last for an infinity...a minute later security knocked on the door. Only a minute per time with infinity was over.
I am also a large fan of Florence and the Machine and couldn't help but notice the extreme similarity in the video. I'm sure Florence got to spend much more than a minute in that lovely fantasy world. At least I can watch her video over and over to infinty and beyond.

School's out for the summer!

I SAY YES: Today is the first day of summer!!! Even a vampire like myself can't resist picnics in the park, proseco on a patio, and summer's the only time that greeting 'Mister Softee' is a good thing! I just bought an old Schwinn and have been happily riding all over Brooklyn in old fashioned get ups! I bought her on the Lower East Side at the Hester Street Market so I named her Hester. After riding her back home across the Williamsburg bridge, my crotch was not as happy as I was, and she will forever be known as Hester the Molester.GOES WELL WITH: Noelia Carballo's beautiful pictures of young girls bathing in summer glow. The pics have something very Virgin Suicides about them. Sad summer beauty.
SOUNDTRACK: Let's go with the sad summer note and run..."The Saddest Summer" by the Drums. Which contrary to the name will put a big smile on your tanned summer face!

Will Munro

After my parents, there are few people in this world who can truly say they shaped who I am today. Will Munro is one of those people. Will is also the reason I have not blogged in so long. Will Munro passed away a month ago today and left behind a broken hearted city and a broken hearted Ladyfag. It is not only in his passing that I've tried to explain to people what he means to me but for some reason I have always used him as an example of a way of life and where I come from. While I'm pretty good at being gay all on my own, it is he who taught me what it means to be Queer. A one man walking Queer revolution, he changed the entire landscape of a city. From his endless community work, to his well respected art career, to starting the most infamous queer dance parties in Toronto, to helping reinvent an entire neighborhood with the opening of "the Beaver" to his dedication to making everyone feel that being "Other" was the best way to be. He was much more than the sum of his p-arts, and his accomplishments have left an iconic legacy...He was also one of my best friends. I used to dance at his Vazaleen parties but the first time I ever did "drag" I was so nervous I thought I might vomit. I could see Will watching me from the wings. After the audience cracked their first laugh it was so on and they almost had to pull me off that stage. I ran off to hug the proudly waiting Will, and told him that I never knew how much I would love that. "I did, that's why I gave you the mic" He just said it quickly with a wink and ran off to DJ. So typical of a man who changed people's lives daily but was too humble and too busy with the next project to make it a big deal. Willus there are no words to do you justice ,but I will make up for it by the way I live my life everyday proudly being Other. That Other is you, and it's with me forever.The day after he left us, I decided I wanted to get Will's name tattooed on my finger. I wanted him to be with me always and as a reminder of the kind of person I want to be in this world. Of course the day I got it I took him dancing. Willus would have wanted just that!

I am at a loss for words. A whole city was not. The queer community in Toronto was at a standstill for Will and the tributes were large and full of rock and roll spirit. Here's our friend Bruce La Bruce's tribute to Will. read it, you'll learn alot about me if you learn about him...